planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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