I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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