People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
