Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
