About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
