Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
