who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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