sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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