Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
