I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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