I'm jealous of your bromance
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
