How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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