please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This is classic penis vs brain.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
