how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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