I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
