Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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