the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
