Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
