I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
