Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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