I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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