I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
