My friends, they love my intelligence
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
