OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
