its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
