Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
