She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
