The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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