someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
