Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
