I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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