party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
