i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
