Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
