Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I am available for nakedness
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
