We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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