are you still at the devil's house?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
