Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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