So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
