My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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