All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
