Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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