hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
