The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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