was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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