I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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