did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
