so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
