i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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