i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
