Christians are straight up FREAKS
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
