I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i out mim tonsoeep
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
